Not Soon Enough

I just listened to the Feb 22, 2008 episode of This American Life . The first act was about a man, who due to a medical condition was without testosterone for a couple weeks. He describes the changes that occurred in his personality and in the way he saw and interacted with the world. Testosterone is the hormone of desire. Desire not just of sex, but desire of anything. Without it he lost his drive to do almost anything. That wasn’t so good. But at the same time other things that we all struggle with were also lost,… envy, being judgmental. He said that he found himself approaching people with a humility that he had not had in the past. He also describes how in this state everything, down to the most mundane objects became beautiful to him. But not a beauty based in judgment (i.e. beautiful as opposed to ugly), but beautiful in a very objective, non-emotional, non-judgmental way. In a strange way he said it brought him closer to God.

This all sounds very Zen like to me. His experience sounds somewhat like the conquering of self. If you can remove judgment from the way you observe and experience the world, wouldn’t beauty become an objective observation, and would not all things be beautiful? If you remove desire, doesn’t fear and the need to hold on to the past and control the future also fall away, leaving nothing but the now.

Obviously the answer is not to get rid of testosterone, if we did that we would all (men and women alike) end up sitting around in our underwear mesmerized by the paint on our bedroom ceilings. But if we could be honest about when our “observations” are in fact “judgments”, and when those “judgments” are in fact not objective, we might be able to see beauty in mundane things. And if there is indeed a God out there, maybe we could hear his or her voice a little clearer.

this experience and that experience
are infinitely different
which makes them the same.
smelling the music and hearing the sun
both require
holding infinity in the palm of your hand.
Its absurd, I’ll grant you that.
But its beautiful
  and true
  and truth
There are moments when I miss you
and moments when I don’t even know you
and moments when you and I are one.
These moments are all the same
and they stretch for all eternity.

“If we listen for it only with the ear, there is no chance of
  hearing it,
But when sound is heard with the eye, then it can be
  understood”

“preaching is not a matter of words or even sounds, and thus “hearing” does not refer to a particular sense perception but to the phenomenon of gaining intuitive insight into the true nature of reality. This insight reflects an ability that is based on the supranormal, synesthetic power of hearing with the eye rather than the ear and seeing with the ear rather than the eye”
- Yun-yen’s “Non-Sentient Beings Can Hear It”, Main Case and Discussion
  Opening a Mountain by Heine

Recoleta Cemetery, originally uploaded by nfalsey.

“Don’t reject your wounded body”
“I am made for greetings and goodbyes.”
- Angel-A

She dreamt me up one night
I was born blind to the world
 but full of dreams
 sweet and terrible
I devoured her
 as all children do
What else is there to do
 when you are born hungry for life
 and thirsty for love
 and told you are the center of all existence
My regret is that she gave
 and I took
 and I discovered too late
 that she was not infinite.
- by me, from a story I’ll likely never finish…

Nicole,… thank you for the beautiful picture.

Here’s a great quote that’s appeared in some reporting on recent promises made during the current presidential campaigns. It pretty much sums up when lies are told and why,…

“The greatest lies are told before the marriage,
after the hunt and during the election”
-Count Otto Von Bismarck

So,… do you finally feel wise and mature?
All your questions answered or dismissed as irrelevant?
All your youthful insecurities put to rest?
Do you finally see the world through eyes not clouded by the fitful,
wistful, romantic lies whispered during the dreams of your youthful years?

If so,… you have not aged well.
Try some sort of re-birthing process so you can relearn some of the more
valuable shortcomings of your youth

if on the other hand your advancing age has endowed you with the freedom
to care a little less about the myths we spin about who we are and who
we should be
and if you now feel a greater capacity to question, answer, know,
understand and fail,…

then welcome to the promised land

 
“They who would be young when they are old,
must be old when they are young.”
- John Ray

Just finished watching the latest debate. Couple interesting points. There really is very little substantive difference between them, which is good because for the most part I agree with the things that they agree on. At the moment I support Barack, and I don’t see that changing.

However, Hillary’s last statement will likely be talked about for days, if not weeks. It is by far the best I’ve heard from her during the entire campaign season. If you did not see it the question was something to the effect of what is the biggest challenge you’ve had to face. She pretty much said that everyone knows the challenges she’s faced, but they are nothing compared to the challenges that average people face (e.g. wounded soldiers, family’s, etc). Take that sentiment and stretch it for a couple minutes and add some,… perhaps genuine emotion and eloquence and there you have it. If she comes back, it will be on the back of statements like that. Negative will not work. She bombed whenever she tried to minimize Obama in any way. The audience actually booed when she made some stupid statement about Obama’s supposed plagiarism in a couple of his recent speeches (which is absolutely ridiculous). She rocked whenever she tried to elevate herself. If she sticks to elevating herself and the electorate, she still has a shot.

AND,… I don’t think this is limited to the democrats,… I think/hope that this dynamic of elevating yourself and the electorate over making negative remarks about your opponent and their supporters continues and becomes a requirement for being elected.

Oh,… and New York Times,… shame on you for the whole McCain thing. WTF?  I hope they have more than they’ve put out there so far.  If not then they shouldn’t have said anything in the first place.

“Washington is a place where good ideas go to die.”
- Barack Obama

Amen

i’m still at the cafe,
trying to motivate,
to stay and do some work.
i’m trying really really hard.
The fact that i’m writing this
is a good indication
that i’m failing to motivate.
Instead i’m just looking out the window
and sipping wine.

i think instead of working i’ll write a something for my blog
something listing the things that people don’t do well,
or don’t do enough,
like touch each other,… physically touch each other.
Maybe (probably) its just us americans,…
or just us new yorkers,
but its like everyone thinks that everyone else has cooties.
Even the people we supposedly love,… must have cooties.
And write poetry,… people should write more poetry,
not “poets”, but people,… everyone should write more poetry,…
even crappy poetry.
Oh,… and I think people don’t know how to greet one another.
Saying hello should be more of an event,
especially when the other person is someone special,…
but even when it is someone you don’t know…
And I think people should try and break a sweat more often,
Sweating is sexy
that’s all i have for now.

I’ve repeatedly heard over the last week or two that Oprah’s support of Barack Obama, and the very white audience that attended Oprah’s appearance with Barack Obama in Iowa will give Obama an additional boost in the upcoming caucuses because (a) Oprah is showing women that its ok not to vote for a woman, namely Hillary Clinton, and (b) that its ok for black folks to vote for Obama because the white support for Obama proves that he is electable.

This kind of talk frustrates me on so many levels. First of all, many (hopefully most) black and female American voters have enough integrity, conviction, intelligence and strength of character to vote not based on race, gender, religion, etc… but to instead vote for the candidate that they think is the most qualified to lead the nation.

Second, if this is not the case, if the average American voter is not capable of figuring out the criteria by which they should measure candidates for the next President, then isn’t it the responsibility of the media and even more so the candidates themselves to make sure that the next president is selected based on their ability to lead the nation and not based on who else is voting for them, the color of their skin or the god to which they pray?